Lost

I'm feeling a little lost and sad today. Signing my new name is finally starting to feel normal. I catch myself thinking "no, not Sni, Bro-wait, it is Sni." I spent some time with my mom last night and for the first time it just felt weird. Like we weren't family anymore or something. I almost felt like I wasn't her daughter, does that seem odd? I feel guilty now for spending time with Doug's family. Not that we see them alot, but we haven't really spent any time with my family since the wedding. We've actually seen Doug's way more often and that never happens. I really didn't think anything was going to change when we got married, but it really does. I kept hearing things about how you lose a little bit of yourself and I thought that was the craziest thing I had ever read. But it's kind of true, I think. All of a sudden, I'm not me anymore, I'm "we." Everything I do has a direct effect on two lives now, not one. I don't know why that thought never occurred to me when we were living together or even engaged. I wonder now, if I will ever feel like my own person again? Does this little piece of myself that I'm losing ever come back? Is this all just "post nuptial depression?" *Sigh* I'm sure I'll feel better soon enough and I definitely don't want to sound like I'm looking for a pity party, I'm not. Just venting a few frustrations.