Seriously. I think Doug and I have done nothing but fight since the moment we found out we got the house. I was upset because I thought he should be more excited and all the time he's dreading moving. Then we're arguing about when to move, Doug wants to wait until June and I'd like to go in there in May. He doesn't want to break his lease early. And compromise?? Neither of us are even remotely capable of that at this point? Is this a bad sign? Should we not be moving in together? He asked last night if I was going to change when we did and I told him that I wouldn't, but won't we both change? Wouldn't we have to make some adjustments once we spend all our time together, not just a couple of nights and weekends. So then last night he's finally excited about something (we got a free fridge) and I'm in a bad mood because all day long I am thinking about having to talk to him about his bad habit (I'm sure you know what I'm referring to) that he indulged in as recently as January (oh, what a couple of beers do for telling secrets). So I was thinking all day that absolutely, under no circumstances could he do that there. Not just because I don't like it, but because we are renting from my friends, and I would never want to jeopardize that. Which is another thing that I haven't admitted being bothered about. What if something terrible happens and Desire and I aren't friends anymore? I don't want to do that.
Back to Doug, he's already telling his brother he can store some of his stuff up there. Yes there are alot of places to store things and I don't think that we can fill it up as is, but I do think that eventually we would be able to. And I don't think it would take us all that long to do it. Plus there is still stuff from Desire and JT that they haven't moved out yet. And I don't know if they plan to move it out.
I'm so frustrated right now. And Doug and I haven't had five minutes to talk. He's not patient with me and my I can't figure out how to word this silences. So whenever I quit talking he decides it's time to get off the phone. Or the conversation is over. Or he falls asleep, so he can avoid talking about it, thinking I'll have forgotten by morning. He should have figured out by now that I never forget anything.
Sorry if this makes no sense. I really just needed to vent. Any thoughts you might have would be helpful though.
2 comments:
This is not a bad sign... it's just normal, after all this is a big step you're making.
About him being worried about you changing... Josh admitted to me shortly after we moved in that he had thought I would change. After talking to him, apparently this is the second most common male myth. (The most common unfortunately being that we change after we're married) They think for some reason that while dating them we are keeping our inner dragonlady at bay, and that immediately after moving in, we unleash it on them and become ultimate ball-breakers. Really though, neither of us changed much after moving in. The only major problem that surfaced from moving in was the household chores, and more specifically who WASN'T doing what.
About what happened in January, I understand your fears. The only thing positive I can say about it though is that obviously he knows it is wrong and that you REALLY don't approve, otherwise he wouldn't try to hide it from you. (Not that this excuses his behavior.) So, I don't think he would do that in your home. I think he repects you more than that.
BTW, will men ever learn that we have excellent, nay, photographic memories when it comes to realtionships? Hell, I can even remember what Josh was wearing on our first date. I would be willing to bet he doesn't even remember what I wore yesterday.
About a compromise, is it possible that you could move in the month before? Get things set up? I would be willing to bet if you started setting up he would be unwilling to sit it out and would soon be living there as well. Just a bit of manipulative advice. :)
Seriously though, I hope everything is alright and that you are feeling better about this now. When I read your post I had every intention of CALLING you instead of just posting back... but I forgot to get a phone card and my long distance bill is astronomical. I hope all is well though. **hugs**
Things are/were better. We had another little spat today. I think we're over it now though. About moving in early, I mentioned that. Doug didn't like the idea much, but I'm probably going to do it anyway. I am too excited to stay home much longer. Thanks for all the kind words. Pretty soon, I'll have a new cell phone and free long distance and I'll be able to call you more. Maybe we can have a Sunday call or something.
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